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Back in the day, when everyone had a Nokia, playing with your ringtones was the coolest thing to do. Crazy Frog was topping the UK music charts and mobile phones were little more than Snake and sexting. Fast forward and things have only gotten worse – we’re now more enslaved than ever to the constant chirps, beeps and warbles of our quad-core despots.
The Samsung death whistle
Every time we hear it on the bus we glare at the person responsible. Why would anyone want their phone to make a coquettish whistle when they get a text? WHY?!
THIS
An anthropomorphised frog. In a racing hat. And goggles. And a waistcoat. On an invisible motorbike. Why was this a thing? Why does it still stalk us everytime we close our eyes?
The CTU ringtone
For chrissakes you’re not Jack Bauer, damnit. Heck, you’re not even Tony Almeida. Or Edgar.
The old Nokia startup jingle
For years, along with “doors set to manual” this was the only noise you heard after a plane landed as every bugger turned on their Nokia phone. It was glorious.
The Samsung water droplet
STOP UNLOCKING AND LOCKING YOUR PHONE!
The iPhone default ringtone
If you can’t be bothered to change the default ringtone on your phone you are either lazy or boring. This jaunty iPhone jingle is a classic example of why a trip to the Settings app is always wise.
Samsung’s ringtone of shame
The look of blind panic in the tired busisnessman’s eyes as he realises his Samsung Galaxy S4 is going off somewhere in his bag. The trembling of his hands and hushed swearing as he tries to find it. But it’s too late, the full orchestral sweep of Samsung’s ‘Over the Horizon’ is already filling the train carriage. Everyone is feeling inspired.
DUH DEE DUH DUH DUH DEE DUH DUH
‘Nuff said
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